Updated: Sep 16, 2020
Overcoming Mom Guilt - Yes, It's Real!
We all go through phases of feeling like we are:
The guilt is real! How do you get over it?
Whether you are a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, or a corporate mom. You are a Mom! You ARE YOUR OWN "perfect mom".
Guilt around being a mom and taking that for granted.
You are incredibly lucky (and yes, we know we are!) So many cannot have kids. We know that. The guilt around that is real. There are days looking at my kids, that I marvel that I made them. They are mine.
And then there are days when I am so drowning in laundry, chores, things to do, and none of them are helping and I just want to pull my hair out. Then, I snap and say something. UGH… the guilt!
It wasn’t about them. I just got to THAT point and I fell off it. Hard. The guilt that hits when you make that fall. It is real! Taking a moment to realize that you are human, and we all have limits. Sometimes those limits get pushed a bit far.
Guilt because Supermom took a break to just be.
Some days, the laundry is piled a mile high, the dishes don’t get done, and the beds aren’t made because we chose to spend more time with the kids and just be. You are still a super mom! Remember that if you do not fill your own cup, you cannot fill into others. Taking a break and letting the Supermom cape hang on the wall hook for an hour or a weekend away is so worth it!
Guilt for Not being okay sometimes.
It is okay to NOT be Okay. When this happens, it is time to call in the reserves. A friend, grandma, the neighbor, and ask for a time-out. To have an Amen corner in reserve for when those extreme times arrive. You know and they know when you say – Amen! I need You! They jump too and give you even just 30 minutes to go for a walk, or take an uninterrupted shower, or take a nap or go for a drive. Just a quick timeout to reset and refill your cup. You'd do the same thing for them!
If you have a down moment, how do you get over the guilt? Knowing when your cup is nearing empty and that you are human and needing to reorganize and add in more “me time”. Yes, that can be tough when you are home with a little one. But it is so important to the success of your family. There is something to the saying of “Happy wife, happy life” or conversely “when mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” When you take care of yourself, you ARE taking care of your family. Self-care isn’t selfish, it is nutritious! "Me" time is a win for everyone!
Guilt for enjoying working.
Being a mom who goes to work is a super mom. She is one who is providing for her family and still has time for them at the end of her day. There is great joy in providing. There is also great joy in the time she has with her family when she comes home.
How do you lessen the guilt? Limit the number of things you do after your work day. Leave work at the door - before - you step inside. For those moms that work from home/telecommute, segmenting your day and prioritizing your day helps. How? It is psychological in that you compartmentalize it. When you are “working” you are focused and working. When you are “home”, work is put away and your focus is at home with your kids, your spouse. Yes, there are times you will need to do an extra task, but again, in segments that are planned out.
Let’s talk about the haters pushing the Guilt Trip…
Yes, you will hear haters on both sides trying to guilt you. Pick your battles. Easier to let it go. Their short-sightedness is just them being completely ignorant. What are you thinking of staying home with your kids? What are you thinking of leaving your kids to go to work? Both have their challenges. Both have their rewards. Both are right! You ARE YOUR OWN "perfect mom"!
How do we let things go and keep our “Super Mom” primed?
Delegating is prime! Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you Need to do it. Even kids as young as 3yrs old can help with chores around the house and learn to take care of their own things. Having someone come in a clean the floors, toilets, and tubs even once a month. Just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Affirmation Journal – Mom guilt buster! Reminding yourself daily that you are amazing! Make this as part of your morning routine to really start the day right AND in your evening routine to finish the day on a bright note. Write down 5 things you are grateful for that day.
Revisit your daily routines. Mom does better when there is a routine to it. It puts HER in control! Creating great morning and evening routines and as I mentioned, segmenting your day, helps to cute out that overwhelm. It also helps to let everyone know their own responsibilities and what's expected of them and when. Totally cuts down on the stress!
Calling the Amen Corner! When things just feel too heavy and overwhelming this is when Batman calls Robin. Wonder Woman calls Superman and Aquaman! THEY had their Amen Corner and friends to back them up when they were overwhelmed. You have to have your backup squad too. I call this your Amen Corner. These are your go-to when you most need it friends and family who always have your back, no matter what. Not to say you do this often, but it is saved for those moments you are just plain tapped out and overwhelmed. And they know who they are!
Mom’s in a Time Out! You have to prioritize time for yourself to fill your own cup in order to be full enough to fill into all the other cups, people and things you tend to in our life. It starts with being good to yourself!
MOM - You've Got This! You are amazingly Mom Enough! And you know that in your guts! Own it!
P.S. Free Guide!
To help guide you to freeing your Mom Guilt, I have a wonderful “Top 10 Self Care Habits of Successful Women” waiting for you! 👈 Click to get it now!